Joyce sounds like she needs more support than her husband at this time. Joyce has been a caregiver to him for years and transitioning out of the role is not always easy. For her this may be the only thing she can control, as everything else has left her control. I would suggest supporting Joyce by engaging her with support group and educational programs to help her understand the benefits of programing and the importance of Bob participating. Joyce should be approached and included in helping to identify programs with meaning for Bob, Joyce is still a caregiver just in a different role, I would help engage her engery in a positive, productive manner.
this has to be very difficult for Joyce. Joyce is having a hard time not being the primary caregiver. She pobably feels that she is not helping him enough if she does not control everything when she visits. i would try and involve them in activities that she would enjoy with him. i would also ask her to join a dementis support group.
Helping Joyce understand that we can help her not only understand Bob and what he is about to go through with AD, but being there to support her and her quality of life.
Knowledge is power, and the more Joyce reads or interacts with people to support groups, eihter where Bob lives or a different location where "Support" is being offered. This is a a being step in understanding what it is for Bob now and will be.
Joyce must in time (the sooner the better), she must join Bob's journey. She must be with him the way he is now, and live in his world as he is now.
Kindness, compassion, patience and a much understanding is all going to be her perscription. We are there to help both her and Bob through it all.
